“In the picture where you’re holding the baby, do you keep him in the cage behind you?”
“I see that you are good at parallel parking, how long does it typically take you to park?”
then why did you send me this message???
“I’m not the droid you’re looking for”
message from a guy whose username is laxd13; people from princeton, connecticut and long island will probably be the only ones to get this reference.
Dear University of Rochester,
Please stop emailing me every two weeks about my outstanding $50 parking ticket. I haven’t had a permit since 2009, which is when I got that ticket. I’m definitely not going to pay it, ever.
“I like to eat every day so that I have something to poop the next day. So, you could say that I’m always thinking about the future”
“how can jeopardy contestants possibly know all of those answers..I mean come on already.”
“the first thing people notice about me: 001010100010101001001010010”
i wonder how many kids growing up right now don’t know how to mail a letter or wash dishes by hand
against flip-flops: “put on a shoe, you slob”
what i accomplished today: half a manicure
want to order in dinner, but don’t want to put on pants; feel irreconcilably conflicted
it drives me crazy when people refer to san francisco as SFO. then i feel like a pretentious asshole.
“I’m actually a few inches shorter than 5’9″, but I like to say 5’9″ because it works out to 69 inches and that has a nice ring to it.”
“If something in your profiles catches my eye, I’m probably going to send you lyrics. Probably metal lyrics.”
which is cooler, the guy who started three twins ice cream or the guy who is sometimes the A’s mascot?
“I’m a true to form, Gen-Y dualist…an outdoorsy urbanite with an affinity for new technology and adventure sports.”