Music fact: They may not have lyrics, but Explosions In The Sky writes all their songs about my breakup with Maya in 11th grade.
— Trevor S (@trevso_electric) January 9, 2013
Every time I see a woman who is super pregnant I whisper under my breath "I know how that baby got in there."
— Broke-Ass Stuart (@BrokeAssStuart) January 7, 2013
Honey Boo Boo’s whole family has healthier self-esteem than you. Deal with that.
— braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) January 9, 2013
What I want to know is when Congress is going to start cracking down on the use of exclamation points and Caps Lock in apartment listings.
— james coker (@JamesWCoker) January 11, 2013
"You'll recognize me I'm in the fetal position." -on blind date
— Bridey Elliott (@brideylee) January 7, 2013
Keep tweetin', cause do you really wanna look back on your life with regret and think "why didn't I tweet that?"
— Bridey Elliott (@brideylee) January 4, 2013